Let me tell you a story...
One day I was walking to the elevator of my building, my arms full of shopping bags. I was determined to make only one trip from my car to my place. When I got the lobby door, I was stuck. The door that was normally propped open was closed. I stood there - feeling stuck.
I started scenario planning on how to open the door without putting down a bag. God forbid that I do that! Wasn't it a competition? I was determined to hold onto those bags!
Thankfully a neighbor came along and opened the door for me. She had a free hand to open the door because she was carrying her bags in a shopping cart. She smiled and shared how she used to do what I was doing until she got her cart. Doh!
What a brilliant idea! My mind was so caught in the struggle in my head that I got in my own way. I could not see that there was another way to approach it. The insight provided by another, someone without an agenda about my life, was what it took to help me see another possibility.
In this parable, the neighbor played the role of a coach. Have you ever found that sharing your troubles with a stranger can help you find clarity? Someone who simply cares and listens. Someone who has your back. It might be the bartender, your seat mate on a plane, whomever.
You may be saying - "Hey that's what my _____ is for! I don't need a coach!" with the blank being your best friend, your mother, someone in your life now. If that works for you, great!
You may want to consider working with a coach if this does not work for you or if you need space to discover what you want. Maybe you should explore working with a life coach.
Different coaches approach their clients differently. I can really only speak from my own philosophy:
- a coach has your back,
- a coach helps you get out of your own way,
- a coach helps you build the life you want, and
- a coach helps you reconnect with yourself.
This is what my coach offered to me when I first began working with her about 15 months ago. It is an approach I want to pass along to those with whom I work.
If you choose to work with a coach, I hope that you find one that helps you build the life you desire and deserve!
Copyright 2016 by Helen M Wilfehrt. Originally appeared on LinkedIn.